What has held me back from starting this whole blogging thing again is really the recap. Why? Backtrack events talk about exhausting! I want to relive the past two years as much as I want to organize my closet. I know it would be nice if it were done but really I am just going to close that closet door and forget about the clutter. I am sure there will be many visits to the chaos but for now I am not going to get my label gun out and start filing away emotional baggage in alphabetical order.
Don't get confused, the past two years have been eventful in highs along with lows. Lets begin this with a high. We added Estelle with my last postings. I read back and for some reason feel disconnected with the author...uh me. Yeah that is probably why it didn't continue. I didn't know how to express myself as myself. It was like telling a story. Not at all living a life and sharing it. So to get back on track, we had an amazing addition that March 31 st. We moved back to our home in Battle Ground. (One could say my blog died when I died moving out of the city I love so much but that is really just me whining) It was nice to be back in my home. It really makes a difference to have creative freedom. I went to town on Estelle's room. It feels like home and I love it. This is where my girls will grow up.
Until we move again. We moved to Ruston WA for hopes of a better life and advancement with the company that my hubs was slaving away at. Oh and we had another girl on the way. Yes we have added the last and final girl to the Bettineski's. No boys. Never will be this uterus is closed for business. I may do side work but nothing will stick as my tubes are tied. Three is good. It is what we wanted. Ruston wasn't however. The location, the job, the down word spiral into regret and time you can't get back was like getting kicked by the kids in TJ trying to sell you Chicklets. The difference this time you can't cave to the cute little shits keying your car when you don't want any candy.... caving in isn't an option. Moving back to Battle Ground really was the right option for us. The next couple of months of my husbands X company can testify to that. Oh wait they actually can't because they are no longer in business.
Well we all move on one way or another right? We are home. We have three amazing kids. They drive me nuts but man my life is nothing short but entertaining and full of absolute love. I have an amazing husband who really I would be lost without. I don't think he even knows that I still get school girl butterflys around him. He makes me melt. Just like every other marriage out there it isn't perfect and I wouldn't want a perfect marriage. I like a little turbulence every now and then. It encourages conversations that are needed to keep things healthy. In check. And well I love the honeymooner high you get when you realize it is all the way it should be and that drinking wine every night and stalking people of your past on facebook isn't going to make you feel better about what you don't have. Not saying that is what I do.... but people do that. Wine at night yes but Today -Reality- I love it. I would rather have that than I wish I coulda's any day.
So to end this post I will fill in the blanks of the past here and there but really just keep the reality of today. Yup. And away we go!
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